Social Situations
Always have a sober buddy before going somewhere with alcohol
Before going to any location that will have alcohol, make sure you have a sober buddy with you. Having someone who understands your situation makes a real difference when temptation appears unexpectedly.
Have a clear purpose before going to a bar
Always have a clear purpose before going to a bar or any place that is primarily centered around drinking. Wandering in without one is an unnecessary risk.
Avoid fake alcohol drinks
Avoid 0% beers, 0% seltzers, and sparkling wines or champagnes that are alcohol-free. These drinks mimic the ritual of drinking and can quickly erode the mental boundary you have worked hard to build.
Avoid cooking with alcohol
Avoid cooking with alcohol or anything that keeps it unnecessarily present in your life. This includes beer-battered items or whiskey barbecue sauces — anything that treats alcohol as a normal household ingredient.
Leave when serious alcohol comes out
Since 2017, whenever the serious alcohol comes out at a gathering, I leave the party. This is not about judgment — it is about protecting my sobriety.
Never go back to a bar where you used to drink
Never return to a bar where you used to drink. The familiar environment, sounds, and smells carry powerful emotional triggers that are not worth testing.
People Around You
What to think about people who drink in front of you knowing your situation
If someone knows about your alcoholism and still chooses to drink heavily in front of you, that says something about them. They may have a problem of their own. This is not about judgment — it is worth paying attention to.
Why contact your sponsor every day — doesn't that seem excessive?
Daily contact keeps the line open before a crisis, not after one. A brief check-in is far easier than a rescue call at 2 a.m. Your sponsor also cannot help you stay accountable if they only hear from you when things are already bad.
Mental Health and Time
What is the Pink Cloud?
The Pink Cloud is the feeling of euphoria and optimism that many people experience early in sobriety. It feels wonderful but is temporary. Depression will spike unexpectedly — up and down without obvious cause — usually within the first three months after the Pink Cloud fades. This is exactly why we do this work every day, because we cannot predict when a serious depressive episode will occur.
What does "one shot over the bow" mean?
A warning shot — a signal that something is wrong before it becomes a full relapse. Learning to recognize your own warning shots and act on them immediately is one of the most important skills in long-term sobriety.
What is "pause"?
Pause is the deliberate act of stopping before reacting — especially in moments of anger, craving, or emotional chaos. It is a foundational habit that buys enough time for better judgment to arrive.
How many hours a day were you wasting because of alcohol?
Calculating this honestly is a powerful exercise. Sobriety returns those hours. This is why we are willing to spend a couple of hours a day on things that support recovery — we are still far ahead compared to where we were.